Never Again
by Anansay
Summary: When he sees her there, standing by the grove of trees, her long black hair flowing in the gentle wind, he can't help the first thought that appears in his head. She's come.


When he sees her there, standing by the grove of trees, her long black hair flowing in the gentle wind, he can't help the first thought that appears in his head. _She's come._ He can't explain the words nor their significance. He's caught standing and watching her, wondering if she's cold--her arms are wrapped around herself. She's not facing him; staring at something he can't see. He wants to know what it is, what has her shoulders slumped and her head bowed and her arms wrapped around herself. Because it should be _his_ arms around her.

He takes a step forward and, like the warrior he knows her to be, senses rather than sees her body tense. Her arms come down slowly and her stance widens, though her feet don't move. He takes another step, uncaring of the cracking twig beneath his shoe. Her head tilts; her hands fist a moment before uncurling.

"You're here." Her soft voice drifts over to him and he stops.

"Yes." He's never been one for words, being shooed to the darker corners as a child, shunned and hushed. Beaten and battered, he rose out of that, but never quite learned how to . . . speak. So it's simple words for him. Because it's better that way.

She turns--slowly. Her eyes find his and he blinks. Her eyes are pink and puffy and her face is blotchy. A muscle jumps in her cheek, shifts about as her throat works. She's staring at him, like he's a ghost, like he's not really there. "I--I thought you were dead," she says and Cloud finally sees what she'd been staring at.

Over her shoulder, glinting dully in the waning sun, his sword lies on the ground, flecks of crimson dotting it. Suddenly too heavy, he'd dropped it, heard the dull thunk of metal hitting earth. Too much blood. Too much death. Too much . . . everything. Walking for days. Fenrir cracked and broken, and no cell phone. Everything . . . just too heavy. So he'd dropped it, heard it's death in the silence, and tried to find home.

"I'm done," he says.

Slowly, oh so very slowly, Tifa nods her head, never taking her eyes from him.

"It's over."

"Okay." A breath on the wind.

"I can't--can't fight anymore, Tifa."

She's walking toward him, her steps slow but sure, her eyes still on his.

"I'm tired."

"I know."

She's there then, standing before him, seeing him. The only one to ever really see him. To ever take the time to _look, _and see. The only one to ever really dismantle his walls. And she's doing it now. Just by being there, her red-rimmed eyes searching his.

"Tifa--"

She's shushing him, a finger to his lips and he can feel her trembling. Can see the quivering of her bottom lip and he realizes he's never see her like this. He's seen her angry, furious even. He's seen her happy, grinning widely. He's seen her sad, depressed, too despondent to do anything and he'd been there, holding her. He's seen her scared, eyes wide and jaw clenched to keep in the whimpers. But _this _fear, so naked in her eyes, her soul. It sears him to his core like nothing else ever had. It's not a dull thudding of his own guilt slowly chewing it's way through his soul. It's a dagger, sharp and cold, thrust hard into his heart. It's sucking him dry, robbing him of breath. And then it _is_ the guilt, surging with vengeful fury, and his head drops, too heavy. He feels his own shoulders fall and his own hands fist. And it's there again, the urge, so strong, so present, so _there, _to just leave. Again. Because his very presence is causing pain--again.

But he can't move; there are hands on his arms, then flesh to his face, warm and soft. He takes a jagged breath and presses against it. Feels the dull thud of a heartbeat mirroring his own. "It's okay," he hears, whispered tightly against his ear. "It'll all be okay." And her voice, so soft and soothing, flutters down on his soul, tempering the blaze of guilt, cooling it to embers.

Her hands slide up his arms, over his shoulder and down his back and then she's around him, holding him, hands touching him and soothing him. Her soft body pressed up against his and it's the best thing he's ever felt and has to wonder why's he's never done this before--hugged Tifa. He grabs her and crushes her to him, wants to much to keep her there with him, forever. Never let go. Never say goodbye. Never again.


End file.
